10% of Your LJ Experience

My Ros has commanded and thus I obey.



When we last left our heroes (and they so are!), the stage was darkened, hands were clasped tightly and tiny gasping noises may or may not have been coming from the figure to my right. VK as Dave had been perched on top of a washer, swinging his legs, leaning forward, skin gleaming in the hot lights, hair tangled and eyes bright with excitement.

And the world just froze. I close my eyes right this second, and I can see him there. I am clutching at the memory tightly, because it is one I never want to fade. It's hard to remember exactly how the scene went, the dialogue was not inspiring, but I can still see VK perched up on top of the washer, leaning forward slightly, feet dangling and covered with athletic socks, a hole in his left sock and three toes peeking through. A thin line of hair traces down the center of his chest and over his stomach, which is flat but just slightly padded, the skin perfect and looking as soft as a flower petal. Everything is perfect except one tiny little pink mark on his tummy, near his left hipbone - an insect bite or a birthmark, it's very faint and it's the only thing that makes him real. And, strangely, it's the same shade of pink as his nipples, which are flat and sweet. His jaw is shaded and scruffy, his mouth pink and wide and smiling. There is that section of skin, above his cheeks, under his eyes, which is translucent and fair, just a smudge of shadow highlighting the rest into sharp relief. His hands are braced against the edges of the washer and he has such large hands, strong, even larger against his thin wrists and long arms, the knuckles knotted, sharp and vivid. And I clutch Ros's hand tighter and draw a shaky breath.

When the scene darkens again, I'm able to breathe.

I can't tell you exactly the order of some of the scenes, now, which is something that bothers me more than anybody who doesn't know me will understand. I am so used to containing everything, summoning it with a flick of my thoughts, but it's not happening, because instead every time I try, my chest gets tight and my hands shake and I have to try to distance myself all over again. I'm shaking now, actually, my hands barely able to type on the keyboard. The reaction seems almost out of proportion, even to me, except that it's such a glorious feeling I don't let it go. And it's not just seeing the play, not just seeing VK - it's who I was with and how fabulous everybody was. I had annakovsky behind me, sometimes her hand warm on my shoulder, and I knew that she was not here because she cared about seeing VK, but because she loved me. And lalejandra to my left and oh, so many more wonderful people. I can not stress how much their presence meant to me, knowing that they were laughing slightly, but still loving me and still loving Ros and being happy for us.

So, possibly out of order (and it's not helped by the fact that the play itself sometimes went into flashbacks, so linear versus actual is even more difficult). But basically Ash and Dave are standing on their cold corner, when Fran walks on to their turf. And there is some kerfuffling and some extreme distaste but it all ends when some man (the Fat Man, all of which is offscreen) pulls up in a limo and asks for a threesome with Fran and Dave and himself (and obviously this is pissing Ash off). And Dave, so cheap, would have done it for extremely little but fortunately Fran is there to bargain their rates higher. And off they go into the limo.

The next day you have Dave explaining to Ash what happened in the limo and it's over breakfast - it's actually hysterical. They're in a diner and eating tons of food, with great enthusiasm because they don't usually have this much money. And Dave is all excited and giving the descriptions of how they had sex and who went where and did what and Ash is all confused as to how that's physically possible, so Dave is using the food as props and trying to explain it and is all "well, see, my mouth was here and then her hand went there and..." and seriously, it was actually very cute and adorable. Um, quite possibly ONLY because it was VK talking about sex, but hey, this is my life and oh my god, am I glad to have been living it!!

Best bit is Dave going "And then he said he wanted to eat us and I thought, you know.." and then he pulls up his shirt and his chest is covered in bite marks (mmmmmmm...Vk has such a beautiful belly, and the angle was just perfect for the jut of his hipbones and the way it curves just slightly and the marks on his sides so vivid against the pale skin) and *dies* He's STILL totally not freaked out and matter of fact and like, the guy had a thing. And he tells how the guy gave them lots of drugs so that they just kept coming really hard and it was VK so it was completely hot in a way that I will never forget. Anyway, apparently they lapsed into unconsciousness after that and as near as they can figure, the chauffeur tucked money in their clothes and shoved them out of the car.

But Dave is sooo into the experience and talking about how this is the life. So yeah, the whole 'forced into prostitution thing' again is failing on sooo many levels. He is dreamy and talking of parties with 'celebrities and stars and rentboys'. I am dreaming of that too :p

Then, I think, there is a scene when we meet Fran's sister, who is just...ucky. I mean, it's all bodily fluids and she's shaving her legs dry on the couch because there's no water and dipping the razor in her drink to rinse it off and just meep. And wiping things on the couch and it's just ucky. Fran thinks so, too. Anyway, she's revealed as being basically someone who is all id, pretty much ruled by her lust for drugs and food and sex. She's very flat and one dimensional and bleeky. And she convinces Fran to order delivery because she has a thing for the owner's son, who is like 13 or 14, so yeah, it's wrong. And when he arrives, Fran takes her food and leaves, and the seduction begins. And I have to say, the wrongness of the boy they cast - he LOOKS like he's 13 or 14, all fragile bones and narrow shoulderblades and you can't help but watch this and wonder at the fates. Actually, he was probably the other good actor, he played shy and trembling very well, unsure and diffident and then seduced. Although, bleek, not a seduction I needed to see!

We flip out, then, I think, to a flashback aftermath of Dave and Fran. Dave is lying on the ground and this is after they've been tossed out of the limo. Fran is looking for her shoes, because they were gift and Prada. Dave pretty much is showing how much he doesn't know about the high life because he mishears her. And they are searching for the shoe and Dave is wanting to know how he did, he wants reassurance, he wants this to be his life. Fran is a little dismissive, but thinks he might have some potential. (and swmbo is going, damn, look at him - potential? MADE for this!) and VK is bright and vivid on stage this entire time, the way he uses his body is amazing, and his voice, that slightly husky voice, god, i love him. Curled up on the stage in front of us, his back bare and he has the back that defines all backs, long and smooth, you can see the path of his spine curving and the jut of his shoulderblades, all of it just crying out for somebody to smooth their hand along that skin, trace the faint knobs, the muscles on either side - he's thin, but his back is suprisingly broad, matching his shoulders, and it tapers down to his slender waist, the curve of his ass and he is just so fucking pretty. And Kita denies it, but his shoulders are broad, and his arms are corded with muscle, it melts into shadows when he's relaxed but when he tenses, muscles are there, defined and beautiful. And he's just relaxed and unselfconscious the entire time, stretched out on the stage or using his body to convey his hope, his optimism. He is brilliant.

When the scene is over, and I know there is a point besides VK being on stage so close that if I leaned forward, I could have touched that back, but it mostly escapes me as to what it was. I think again we learned how much more Dave wants from life and when I say more, I mean success in his chosen career and to be a professional. And Fran seems slightly less than happy and is obviously concealing secrets.

And then there is no more VK and there is a long and uncomfortable scene in which Fran's sister again seduces the delivery boy, who shows up in the middle of the night, and drugs are involved and basically Fran comes home and is like, wtf did you do with the boy and the sister can't really remember a lot of it and the upshot is, they'd had sex and done drugs and she discovers the boy's dead body on the couch beneath the covers, from an overdose. And then the police arrive.

And then the act is over. And we go out into the night and stand in line for the bathroom and shake and shiver a little bit because VK was beyond compare and the rumor was that, unlike the first act, he would be in the second act constantly. And thus there is no bad there.

Because he is so amazingly talented.

And now I stop with the squeeing for a while because I can really only go on so long before it's too much even for me. I know that it will not even be close to possible for me to do justice to the second act, because there is so very much of VK and I can but try. And I want to be back there, in the first row, surrounded by LJers and love and feasting my eyes on VK and my ears on his voice and just experiencing it to the fullest. I had a dream in which somebody asked "what day do you want to relive" - and I have had many good days in my life, magical days. Right now, I want to relive that one, over and over, shaking hands and pounding heart and all. And in a way, I am.

Love you guys. *hugs*