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Wee! I got a card from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_green_ in the mail yesterday! It says she olives me. I Olive you, too, Greenie! I Olive you like a Martini!
So, um, ok. Loyal *cough* readers of my journal will remember that a couple of days ago, I stopped by the grocery store to avert an impending coffee crisis. I bought creamer and, because it's really hot out, vanilla ice cream on impulse. An Impulse of EVIL.
Last night I had some of said vanilla ice cream.for the first time. Opened the 1/2 gallon container, scooped out maybe half a cup - it was frozen very hard, so it was a chore scooping, which is one reason it was a very small bowl. But that's all I had, a VERY SMALL BOWL of vanilla ice cream. That's important to the story.
Because this morning, I opened the fridge for something - I can't even recall what - and noticed that, um, yeah. The 1/2 gallon container of vanilla ice cream was sitting on the bottom shelf of the fridge. NOT the freezer, where vanilla ice cream properly belongs. *facepalms* But the story doesn't end there, because that'd be - well typical swmbo absentmindness. Oh no. So I'm picking up this VERY FULL container of liquid ice cream, planning on dumping it down the sink, rinsing it off, throwing away the container. The proper method of disposing of liquid ice cream. When the lid shoots off and an ENTIRE 1/2 gallon of melted and semi-melted homestyle vanilla ice cream shoots out, drenching swmbo's pants (and I admit, pajama pants because - SUNDAY! I'm LAZY!) and the kitchen floor. There's maybe a cup left in the bottom of the container. Which goes in the sink but...
Seriously, there are few things more difficult to clean up than liquid vanilla ice cream which is on the floor and you have to move FAST because otherwise it's gonna start sliding its way under the refrigerator where it'll just go..ucky. So I'm making a toweldamn dam under the fridge and finding a mop and bucket and, oh yeah, I'm doing this without pants because my pants are covered in vanilla ice cream and it's disgusting so I strip those off but things are moving so fast I don't have TIME to get new pants. So, pantsless, I'm attempting to save my floor.
Btw, the best method for cleaning enormous amounts of melted vanilla ice cream off your kitchen floor, should you ever be in this situation, is to use the mop like a broom and push the thick muck into a dust pan, dump it into the sink, rinse and repeat. It works surprisingly well. And once I finished that, rinsed everything off, mopped the floor semi-properly - and that was also not fun because - mopping - start at the edge, work your way out of the kitchen, right? Well, when there's a mysterious spill of vanilla ice cream on the middle of the floor that doesn't happen. So you have to be careful when doing this that you don't slip and fall, particularly when you're not wearing any pants to cushion the blow. No I did NOT fall, for once. On the other hand, I slid a LOT and it was dangerous and when the floor dries I know I'm gonna have to probably sweep and then mop again.
However, I've rinsed myself off in the shower and I am again wearing pants. Much, I am sure, to my flist's dismay. TOO BAD!
And it's only 1 PM. So now I'm going to go back to watching the series finale of Joan of Arcadia (which is seriously creeping me out, thanks very much). And mourning the fact that my coffee maker is totally on the other side of a very wet kitchen floor and it would be dangerous to attempt to navigate to it. So no more coffee for me. *sobs* And somehow, I'm gonna blamearundhathi for all of this. Why? Because she likes it! And because I was secure in the fact that my day was, at least, going to be much less eventful than hers. I should know better than to think.
*hugs to you all*
_green_ in the mail yesterday! It says she olives me. I Olive you, too, Greenie! I Olive you like a Martini!So, um, ok. Loyal *cough* readers of my journal will remember that a couple of days ago, I stopped by the grocery store to avert an impending coffee crisis. I bought creamer and, because it's really hot out, vanilla ice cream on impulse. An Impulse of EVIL.
Last night I had some of said vanilla ice cream.for the first time. Opened the 1/2 gallon container, scooped out maybe half a cup - it was frozen very hard, so it was a chore scooping, which is one reason it was a very small bowl. But that's all I had, a VERY SMALL BOWL of vanilla ice cream. That's important to the story.
Because this morning, I opened the fridge for something - I can't even recall what - and noticed that, um, yeah. The 1/2 gallon container of vanilla ice cream was sitting on the bottom shelf of the fridge. NOT the freezer, where vanilla ice cream properly belongs. *facepalms* But the story doesn't end there, because that'd be - well typical swmbo absentmindness. Oh no. So I'm picking up this VERY FULL container of liquid ice cream, planning on dumping it down the sink, rinsing it off, throwing away the container. The proper method of disposing of liquid ice cream. When the lid shoots off and an ENTIRE 1/2 gallon of melted and semi-melted homestyle vanilla ice cream shoots out, drenching swmbo's pants (and I admit, pajama pants because - SUNDAY! I'm LAZY!) and the kitchen floor. There's maybe a cup left in the bottom of the container. Which goes in the sink but...
Seriously, there are few things more difficult to clean up than liquid vanilla ice cream which is on the floor and you have to move FAST because otherwise it's gonna start sliding its way under the refrigerator where it'll just go..ucky. So I'm making a towel
Btw, the best method for cleaning enormous amounts of melted vanilla ice cream off your kitchen floor, should you ever be in this situation, is to use the mop like a broom and push the thick muck into a dust pan, dump it into the sink, rinse and repeat. It works surprisingly well. And once I finished that, rinsed everything off, mopped the floor semi-properly - and that was also not fun because - mopping - start at the edge, work your way out of the kitchen, right? Well, when there's a mysterious spill of vanilla ice cream on the middle of the floor that doesn't happen. So you have to be careful when doing this that you don't slip and fall, particularly when you're not wearing any pants to cushion the blow. No I did NOT fall, for once. On the other hand, I slid a LOT and it was dangerous and when the floor dries I know I'm gonna have to probably sweep and then mop again.
However, I've rinsed myself off in the shower and I am again wearing pants. Much, I am sure, to my flist's dismay. TOO BAD!
And it's only 1 PM. So now I'm going to go back to watching the series finale of Joan of Arcadia (which is seriously creeping me out, thanks very much). And mourning the fact that my coffee maker is totally on the other side of a very wet kitchen floor and it would be dangerous to attempt to navigate to it. So no more coffee for me. *sobs* And somehow, I'm gonna blame
arundhathi for all of this. Why? Because she likes it! And because I was secure in the fact that my day was, at least, going to be much less eventful than hers. I should know better than to think.*hugs to you all*
dorky
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giddy